Sweet & Sour: The Dinner Table Tool That Changes Everything

Jade Britain
Jul 27
3 min read

When do your kids reflect on their day? Are they learning to sit with the good and the hard stuff - or just ignoring both?

For the last five years, every single dinner in our house - whether it’s a normal Tuesday night or a family BBQ - ends the same way:

Everyone shares their Sweet & Sour.

A Sweet moment from the day. A Sour moment from the day. No one skips. Not Mum. Not Dad. Not the guests. Not the quiet ones. Not even the ones who say “nothing happened.”

At first, it was a way to get our boys talking. Now? It’s the most powerful parenting tool I’ve got.

Why This Matters (and Why Most Adults Miss It)

Reflection isn’t natural - it’s built.

Most adults can’t name what they’re feeling in the moment, let alone explain it to someone else. Now imagine trying that as a kid, when your brain is still learning how to manage disappointment, embarrassment, fear, excitement, anger, or pride - all in one school day.

Sweet & Sour is simple. But it builds something rare: emotional safety.

Not in a “soft” way. In a strong, consistent, “I’ve-got-your-back” kind of way.

The point isn’t to fix the sour or clap for the sweet. The point is to get used to saying:

🟢 “This happened today, and I’m allowed to feel something about it.”

What It Looks Like In Real Life

When we started, our boys were small - full of energy and even fuller of “I don’t know” answers.

So we started small

“What was one good thing today?” “What was one hard thing?”

We called it Sweet & Sour.

Over time, it became a ritual. We added in their cousins when they stayed for school holidays. Guests couldn’t skip it. Even the adults got caught out deflecting or giving fluff answers.

But the biggest shift? Kids who used to say, “I dunno” started saying:

“My sweet was that I finished my art project.”“My sour was that no one noticed.” “Sweet was I got a try at rugby.”“Sour was that Dad missed it.” “Sweet was Mum helped with my homework.”“Sour was I was still nervous handing it in.”

They learned to say more than one.

They learned to dig a little. They learned to feel safe saying what’s really going on - and not be judged for it.

That’s leadership training in disguise.

Why It Works (Even For Adults)

Most adults I coach or work with haven’t built this skill either.

They bottle, buffer, or bulldoze through. Then wonder why their relationships - personal or professional - keep breaking down under pressure.

Here’s the truth:

If you can’t name how you feel, you’ll never lead someone else through how they feel.

This tool works at home. It works at work.It works at the dinner table and it works in boardrooms.And it especially works in schools - if the adults in the room model it first.

How To Try It This Week:

You don’t need to run a program to start this. Just say:

“Before we finish dinner, everyone shares their Sweet & Sour.”

Rules:

No skipping.
Doesn’t have to be big or deep.
No fixing each other’s stuff - just listen.
If you are someone's sour, you are not to defend yourself - It is their feeling and you need to let them be safe and share it.

Bonus points:

Ask follow-ups: “Why was that sweet?” “What made that sour?”
Allow more than one.
Adults go first - always.

Do it for 7 nights straight. See what happens.

You’ll notice:

Deflection at first (that’s normal)
Then honesty
Then connection

You’ll see your child’s self-awareness grow. You’ll feel the temperature in the house shift. You might even be surprised what you start admitting out loud.

The Takeaway

We don’t teach leadership through lectures.We reveal it through habits. Conversations. Safety.

Sweet & Sour gives your child a daily checkpoint - and gives you a front-row seat to their emotional growth.

You can’t lead what you don’t see. And you can’t support what you don’t hear. This gives you both.

If You’re Ready To Go Further

In 'the next 90 days' this is one of the first tools I use in my SharpEdge program. It’s simple - but it lays the foundation for everything else.

I work directly with parents who want to build confident, emotionally aware leaders at home.I also work with schools who are sick of the old “buzzword” wellbeing posters - and want something real.

👉 If this blog hits home, flick me a message. I’ve got tools you can try with your family this week - no fluff, no pressure, just impact.