Kids Don’t Need Perfect Parents - Just Honest Ones

Do your kids see your flaws and your growth?What’s your relationship with vulnerability?

We spend so much time trying to be "on" for our kids. Strong. Stable. Sorted. But here’s the truth:

Your child doesn’t need you to be perfect. They need to see you be real - and recover.

The First Time I Knew I Got It Wrong

Years ago, I was reading a book that asked one simple question:

“What’s something you did today that you could do better tomorrow?”

Without thinking, I had my answer: “Not flying off the handle with my boys this morning.”

They were just being kids. Slow to move. Not quite tuned in yet.Lazy? Maybe. But they’d only just woken up.

And I met that with anger.

I realised in that moment - it wasn’t about them. It was about me.And instead of hiding it, I told them that.

Since then, I’ve owned my flaws more often. And our connection has only gotten stronger.

Why Hiding Doesn’t Help

A lot of parents - especially dads - think they have to “hold it all together.”

But let’s call that what it is:

A fancy way of saying, “I don’t know myself well enough to be seen.”

And the cost? Kids who don’t understand how to manage emotions - because they’ve never seen it modelled.

If we want emotionally aware kids, we need emotionally honest parents.

Vulnerability Doesn’t Mean Weakness

It means being open enough to say:

• “I got that wrong.”

• “I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that.”

• “I’m feeling overwhelmed, and I need a minute.”

It also means letting our kids feel their emotions, too.

A few weeks ago, my U11’s rugby team lost a brutal, high-energy match. We made a comeback, but just fell short. It was gutting.

Heads were down. Eyes averted. No one wanted to do the three cheers. They were frustrated - even pissed off.

And I get it. They knew they hadn’t brought their best early on. They were feeling it.

But I shut that behaviour down, fast.

We don’t skip respect. We don’t sulk off the field.

I made them do the cheer. It wasn’t the loudest, but they shook hands and looked their opponents in the eye.

Then I brought them back in. I didn’t scold them. I taught them.

“You’re allowed to be frustrated. You’re allowed to be gutted. But we don’t carry ourselves like sore losers. Vent to your parents in the car if you need to. Just know - you did what I asked of you. And you should be proud.”

That’s leadership. And that’s vulnerability. Not just for them - but for me too.

What Our Kids Learn When We’re Honest

They learn:

• Emotions aren’t scary.

• You can make mistakes and come back stronger.

• Growth isn’t clean - it’s gritty and real.

They also learn you’re safe to open up to.

Because if you pretend you never get it wrong - why would they admit when they do?

The Takeaway

Stop chasing perfection. Stop acting like strength means silence. Your kids need the full version of you - not the filtered one.

Leadership at home isn’t about control. It’s about example.

If you want kids who own their mistakes, speak up when they’re struggling, and respect others even when it hurts - you have to go first.

Try This This Week

1. Ask your child: “What’s something you could do better tomorrow?”

   • Then answer it yourself - out loud.

2. Catch yourself in the moment.

   • When you mess up, name it. Keep it simple. Keep it real.

3. Explain emotion in plain terms.

   • “I was annoyed because I felt rushed. That’s not your fault, and I’m sorry for snapping.”

4. Debrief the hard stuff.

   • After a meltdown, a game, or a disagreement - circle back. That’s where the growth is.

SharpEdge Is Built on This

I don’t teach leadership by yelling.I build it by modelling. By guiding. By helping kids - and parents - own their mess and keep moving forward.

If this blog hits something in you, reach out. I’ll send you the reflection questions we use inside SharpEdge to build this kind of honesty into the everyday.

📩 Flick me a message. Let’s talk about building stronger humans - one real moment at a time. 0212597544